We do our usual visit with Rex on the weekend, sometimes extra visits as the need arises.
But tonight Josh realized as he was laying in bed ready to sleep that he needed to go see his Boy, right then. So we went.
It was really odd to realize we both almost forgot today. I suppose it’s not forgetting since at different times we both thought of it but didn’t voice what we were thinking. Timing and plans being what they were with the kids on Josh’s weekend day off.
I have decided I like late evening visits when the sun is set but there is just a hint of light left. Tonight as we drove East we watched a large thundercloud put on a lightning show. Our skies were clear but about 10 miles east of us there it was, a huge mushroom type cloud with lots of lightning and I can only imagine rain, thunder, and possibly hail as well. It was amazing to have such a lightning show happening tonight while we visited Rex. I do my talking in my head but Josh likes to talk aloud. I wish I could do that but it’s not comfortable for me. What I really wish I could do is curl up in a ball on top of him and let all my feelings and thoughts soak through to him. When there is grass there that is precisely what I plan to do.
I love how the light shines across his stone at night. Stone? Marker? Grave site? Burial site? Sometimes I just can’t pick what to call it. A lot of the time I want to just call it his home. It is his home, it’s our home in a way too. Where someone you love dwells permanently doesn’t that make that spot a home?
It’s late and I am emotional, tired but sleep is going to be difficult tonight.